Showing posts from February, 2015

Thoughts on killing your girlfriend’s dog (and making it look like a suicide)

If you’re a hypersensitive freak like I am, you undoubtedly get really fucking annoyed at things like; people chewing, breathing, speaking loudly, or just being alive and around you. Speaking of chewing, please Kit Kat, end those, nails down a chalkboard, crunching commercials. You know the ones, the overly-exaggerated sounds of people snapping open the bar and shoving it in their mouths and chewing with a ridiculous amount of decibels.
Anyway, the sounds I hate most in the world are that of animals being animals. For instance, dogs licking themselves. It doesn’t matter which part of the dog’s stupid body that they lick, it all sounds like an old lady slurping the world’s hottest cup of coffee.
I know a certain dog, let’s call him Buddy. I know, very inventive name. It’s like naming your son, Son. At any rate, Buddy does whatever he can to annoy the living fuck out of me. If there’s a noise that his dog body is able to make, he makes it. Just for me. He especially loves to lick his chop…

DBM music reviews

In my never ending struggle to find music that doesn't suck, I've recently made a few album purchases.

Marilyn Manson:
The Pale Emperor 

Genre-wise, I would call TPE more of a traditional rock album with just a little smattering of Industrial elements. Unfortunately, most of the tracks sound alike. It really reminds me of some of the songs on Marilyn's ex-cohort Tim Skold's Anomie. The more traditional rock tunes that is. I seem to have an affliction to plain old boring guitar, bass, drums and a singer lately. There has to be something extra mixed in there to separate from the past 50 years of rock n roll. Replay value: 3.(Amount of replays before one gets sick of it).

Next up, we have Emigrate: Silent so Long. A side project of Rammstein guitarist, Richard Z. Kruspe. You know the Germans always make good shit. There are also a few guests on the album, most notably, Marilyn Manson. SSL has some really good tracks. Most notably, "Hypothetical" (featuring Marily…
Growing up, The Old Man would always impart dumb and sometimes grammatically incorrect life advice to me, such as, "Don't never say can't," and "Stop wishing your life away." I, being the pain in the ass that I am, would say things like, "I can't give birth," or "I wish I wasn't working in this disgusting HUD house with you."

The Old Man has also carried with him through the years, the slang and vernacular of the 30s, 40s, and 50s. You should hear him. He's a barely walking encyclopedia of an era long gone past.

Sayings like, "Boy, aren't you a tall drink of water." I can only assume this means something like, wow, it's refreshing that you're pretty and not a short ugly troll. Or The Old Man using, "Broad" when referring to a woman. Mostly, preceded by "Dumb."

The Old Man is also a master at hitting on waitresses in restaurants. It seems that in the past, women were more susceptible t…