Showing posts from October, 2013

The Old Woman and the aerobics instructor

This is the sordid story of burning passion and hot bodies. No, it's not that type of story, sickos! Back in the late 70s and early 80s, there was a new boom in the exercise craze. Led by the likes of Richard Simmons, middle-aged housewives everywhere donned leg warmers, Spandex, and headbands to stretch and sweat in front of their console TVs.

Now, The Old Woman having an addictive-type personality, was all over this like ugly on an ape. The Family's brutal "no fat" policy of ribbing, and overall meanness didn't help either. So it's easy to say that mom was into it. It's also no secret that she was addicted to expensive clothes. She was a clothes horse. Fuck, she was a whole mounted Cavalry. I don't have any real data to back this up, but maybe, just maybe, the exercising reduced the spending a tad.

The Old Woman's favorite aerobics guru was a man named Gilad Janklowicz. His show was called Bodies in Motion. I always thought he was Greek, but lo…