A big whoop-whoop shoutout and congrats goes to my ex for her pregnancy, (not mine by the way). Have fun with the demented reality show.
Recently, I was chatting with my brother, let's call him Lefty, and we discussed how I am able to control the bad luck of other people. For example, pets die, vicious yet hilarious cross-country ski accidents, unexplained deafness, ill-advised pregnancies, finger impalement's, unprecedented snow-fall...etc. etc. Point being, I'm like a Reaper on the TV series Supernatural, or the bizarro A-Team. If you don't have a problem, and no one else can give you one, and if I can find you, maybe you can fall victim to Me.