I was born. I suffered.
I suffered some more, and hopefully,
I won't die a painful death.
This is my life.

Marriage-Related Sex Initiation

Do you want to have sex before or after I mow the lawn?
If you don’t stop playing CoD by 10:30, we’re aren’t having sex.
It’s not Saturday.
It’s Saturday
If I don’t finish grading these 75 essays, you’re not getting sex this weekend.
Wife: Oh boy, it’s my birthday-no sex.
Husband: Oh boy, it’s my birthday-sex time!
Insert any holiday in 6 and 7. Wife: I want another kid. Husband: I can hold out.
Wife: Ok, I’m horny, let’s have sex. Husband: But Hitler is on.