I was born. I suffered.
I suffered some more, and hopefully,
I won't die a painful death.
This is my life.

10 signs that you're older than 40

Once you get past 40 year mark, your birthday slams rather than sneaks up on you every year. Here are some signs that you've hit this hellish mark.

1. Your Facebook friends tell you how "great you look" even if you're a complete mess.

2. Those microfiber golf coats don't look half bad.

3. It's just easier to sit while you pee.

4. You'd rather watch the History Channel than have sex.

5. You try to avoid any food with onions in it.

6. You haven't listened to the radio in your car in years.

7. Every room in your house has an air freshener.

8. You can't wait until one of your kids turns 16 to be the designated driver.

9. There's no reason to go to the movies when they're out on RedBox in two months.

10. Pre-cooked rotisserie chicken.