I was born. I suffered.
I suffered some more, and hopefully,
I won't die a painful death.
This is my life.

Cake, beer, and strangers

If you're ever in need of some awkward fun, go to the next birthday party that your child is invited to. Obviously, if the party is at some lasertag hell hole, just go run some errands. If the partaaay is at the parent's home, bring your kid in and look around. Do you see chips and dips laid out? Are there other adults there besides the parents? Yes? Then wait for the invite. "Why, yes, I will stay for a little while." Hopefully some halfway hot moms will also stay. Ha.

 How to tell if your hosts are alcoholics:

 If the kid's dad brings you a beer from the garage cooler that's filled with ice and beer, and he or the mother aren't drinking, then they are alcoholics. You can sort of tell by the look of agonizing ecstasy on their faces by watching you drink. They'll wait until the cake is eaten and everyone is gone to go all Days of Wine and Roses.

Mad Men reboot

Now that Mad Men is no longer about handkerchief squares, Fedoras and how cool it is to drink and smoke in the office, in a stunning admission on the Katie Couric show, the show's creator, Matthew Weiner says to expect massive changes for the final seasons. "I'm going to pull a Happy Days," admits Weiner. "You know, after the first couple of seasons they dispensed with the 50s styles and the cast was walking around in bell-bottoms and had long hair."

Weiner went on to say that next season of Mad Men will take place in modern times. "Expect to see Don Draper sitting at his desk answering emails on a MacBook Pro." Weiner says excitedly.

#SC&P