I was born. I suffered.
I suffered some more, and hopefully,
I won't die a painful death.
This is my life.

Save money by killing Santa Claus

In these uncertain economic times, spending gobs of cash on Xmas gifts is detrimental on the holiday budget. I came up with a brilliant idea for parents with young brats at home. Kill off that fat red bastard. No not Satan, Santa Claus. Get rid of the endlessly droning wish list of toys, games and other useless shit that will be tossed in a closet by New Year's. Telling the kids that there's no Santa will put their little minds at ease. Only getting a couple gifts under the tree will be good for them.

No more thinking that Santa has limitless amounts of resources, and the slave labor-elven workforce. This will teach your kids that Santa doesn't hate them, you do. I always hear parents tell their children that they pay Santa for some of the "big" toys. Really, that's quite a ludicrous notion. An omnipotent being like Santa has no need for money. Go the whole yard and say you pay for all of the toys.

So parents, try it out. I think that in the long run, your children will grow to hate-I mean love you for it. Yes, love you.