I was born. I suffered.
I suffered some more, and hopefully,
I won't die a painful death.
This is my life.

The Christmas spirit is a blow-up Santa

It's that time of year, again, when people drag out their gaudy Xmas decorations. You know the ones I'm talking about, those hideous inflatable lawn ornaments. It's been awhile since I've been giddy about the holidays and all the trappings. In fact, looking at Christmas lights makes me feel like a bulimic after Thanksgiving dinner.
So keep riding that inflatable motorcycle you wacky bulbous Santa. I'll close my eyes when I drive by.