I was born. I suffered.
I suffered some more, and hopefully,
I won't die a painful death.
This is my life.

What I want on my head stone

Lately, I've been trying to come up with an inspiring epitaph for my head stone, if I am lucky enough to have one when I die. I know what you're thinking, Eric, no one's going to visit your grave idiot. Well just in case someone happens to be visiting the lucky bastard next to me and glances over at mine.
I'll list what I have so far. Be sure to let me know which ones are the best so that I may narrow it down before I keel over.
-There. You've finally killed me.
- Here lies a man who might have cured cancer, only he failed highschool chemistry.
-It might be hot down here, but Hitler has a Slip-n-slide.
-That's right bitch, I did have millions of dollars in my mattress.
-I better be in here from liver failure and not a knife in the back.
-If I'm reincarnated right now, I better not be some critter that eats shit.
-Please get a shovel. I'm still alive down here.
-Many have tried to discover what lies beyond. It's...
-If I was born gay, I would've died with a lot more money and a better wardrobe.
-Finally. Silence.