Dear Death Becomes Me:
I recently lost my job. Okay recently being a relative word. I lost and haven’t found a new one in over six months. I’ve tried everything I can think of, networking with friends, and family, going to employment agencies, walking into various corporate offices armed with a stack of résumé’s ---only to discover that 1.security guards are a lot tougher than then their overweight appearances initially let on. And 2, that soliciting jobs is a lot like soliciting sex only you're more likely to get solicited for sex cause the offices I went to were those on Capital Hill.
The reason for this letter is, I’ve got three more weeks of unemployment benefits, and then I am out on the street. I don’t think I have much more to live for after the money runs out. I have expenses, a high maintenance girlfriend, a dog whose medical bills continue to trump the nation’s debt, not to mention (but I will because I’m in the mood to complain) various creditors (Sallie Mae) --who want me dead, What advice/suggestions can you relay on ---as to convince me that living is a worth wild experience and that everything is going to be okay?
Signed,Noose in Hand and ready to "Slip"