I was born. I suffered.
I suffered some more, and hopefully,
I won't die a painful death.
This is my life.

The year of living morosely

As I have now spent more than a year divorced and two years miserably separated, certain horrible things have dawned on me. I will outline these in the bulleted list below.


  • The fictional characters on TV shows make the best friends
  • The only reason I would get married again is if I needed to stay in a foreign country because of legal trouble back in the US
  • The little shopping carts at Wegmans built for one person's groceries make me smile when I use them
  • It's hard to get out of bed in the morning because my queen size air mattress is so damn comfortable
  • I have a hard time playing video games now because it brings me back to the times I would ignore my wife playing every weekend
  • I have a set of grooves in my carpet from moving the one chair I own from room to room
  • I love swearing at the female voice of my cellphone when she can't understand my voice dialing
  • I would rather just be surprised than go to a doctor for a yearly physical
  • I have my child support case worker added to my instant messaging contacts

The top home improvements made by The Old Man. Part III






The New Room

After the fantastic pool was done, the estate was in need of a patio to entertain guests and provide a cool place to get out of the sun. What beautiful and fancy design would The Old Man come up with? That's right! A box pasted on the back of the house. Oh well. The new addition would also have a living room on the second floor to accommodate the ever expanding family. The New Room was equipped with the latest in 1970s carpeting and wood paneling. A wondrous orange metal fireplace seen here was also installed. 




(not the actual orange fireplace)
The main purpose of this room, at various points in time, was to house the TV set. In later years, it just existed to be a staging area for The Old Woman’s eternal Christmas tree. Also, the couch in The New Room is used as a filing cabinet for The Old Woman’s bills that she hid from The Old Man. 


Unlike most of the estate, The New Room has only gotten a couple of renovations. My personal favorite is the current one. Knotty-pine everywhere. At one time squirrels had gotten into the rafters above and were trying their best to scratch their way into the room. This is when the ceiling was just Styrofoam tiles. I wanted to get a flamethrower and climb to the roof and burn those suckers out like Japs, uh I mean Japanese soldiers, in a pillbox.

Meanwhile in the patio, a beer tap, a refrigerator for the kegs, and a changing room were installed. Things were shaping up to be bloody beautiful. The patio was an eclectic mixture of redwood framing and metal screen. Lighted beer signs adorned the walls and it even had an electric heater hanging from the ceiling. The Old Man was in heaven. He could be seen there nightly, smoking a cigar and drinking Genesee Cream Ale. Looking back now, the patio seemed immense. I can remember playing in there at night in my pajamas listening to The Old Man and his son-in-law, let’s call him Jack, plotting the next project. The Old Man always had some scheme to keep out the mosquitoes. Every hole was plugged up with a piece of aluminum screening and stapled into place. There were a few different facelifts to the patio, but after The Old Man had a dedicated pool house erected called The Building, it became more of a utilitarian storage space. 


The Building


The Building is The Old Man's beloved pool house. It is basically a pre-built storage type building that you can find at Lowes or Home Depot today, only bigger. The Building arrived on a flatbed truck and was nailed into place. Slack-jawed yokels from the neighborhood gathered around when it was delivered like they were viewing The Empire State Building being built. Soon it was fitted with the finest in flake-board plywood and green astro-turf. And yes, it was mosquito-proofed with a custom metal screen door. Later a deck was built off of the side of it and many grand parties were held. The Building was wired up complete with refrigerator, stereo system and even had a fancy intercom system installed. The Old Man could order The Old Woman to bring down food he needed for the weekend cookouts. Or in turn, The Old Woman could alert him that he had a phone call. This would usually result in him going on a service call for his electrical business. Later on The Old Man outfitted the deck with a hot tub. I think he likened it to the Playboy Mansion's Grotto


A few of The Old Man's children used The Building to entertain the opposite sex. By entertain, I mean boink. These were good times and it was very easy for The Old Man's better looking children to entice hapless victims to come over for a midnight swim. 


The Building, like the pool has fallen on hard times and is in disrepair. The floor is sagging, the window won't stay up and the mice are the only ones having a good shag in there. There are no more weekend parties with gallons of clam chowder, steamed clams and various desserts. The laughter of grandchildren and the splash of an unsuspecting visitor getting thrown into the pool fully clothed are gone. The echoes of these events are imprinted on the fabric of the pool area. If you happen to be driving by on the highway, listen carefully and you can hear them.
The Building as seen by Google Maps