Best of DeathBecomesMe

Television is all we need

Is there anything better than lying on the couch watching TV for hours at a time? No, there isn't. It happens to be the greatest use of man's time ever. My one lofty goal in life is to just be a part of the couch and cycle through all of the channels in a semi-infinite loop, stopping on any WWII shows until I'm dead. One might say that this is an incredibly mediocre goal to strive for.  I say rubbish. This is extreme ambition at its best.


You know man, technology sucks. Things like databases, servers, ones and zeros have turned our once easygoing way of life to shit. Do you think anyone in the 50s had to remember 47 fifteen character passwords? No, I don't fucking think so. The Old Man is always griping about how his life is over because he's retired. You're 85, it's amazing you're still alive. The Old Man was an electrician. He worked in a paper mill and had his own residential business. He was always on his feet and doing physical labor. The jobs of the past have not one iota of resemblance to what most of us poor stupid bastards do today. Of course, The Old Man also knelt on concrete for forty years and his knees are shot. So there's that.

I don't really know if "the information age" has made life any easier. Have you tried calling the DMV lately? Wouldn't be nice to know that there's an actual living, breathing person who gets that pdf form that you have to submitted to some horrible bureaucratic state office? Come on we're Americans. We can do better than this. We saved Europe with sheer massive over production of Sherman tanks, bullets and bombs. Shit, with how organized and technologically advanced the Nazis were, if they would have won the war, I'd still be in my cubicle typing this.  Only in German.

The idiocy of DST

Like most of you, I'm a nineteenth century farmer with no access to electric lighting. So you can obviously tell that I'm very grateful to our all-knowing daylight savings time government overlords. I really have no fucking clue how I'd gather chicken eggs or milk Bessie without that earlier sunrise in the winter. Besides, what else do I have to do in the winter but screw my wife and have as many kids possible to help on the farm? It's not like I need to drive home from work at the end of the day or something stupid like that. Why would I need it to be light out at 5pm? And praise God for the extra light in the summer evenings. After a day of back-breaking manual labor, it's good to sit down with The Good Book and read verse after verse without having to light dozens of candles.


adjective: excruciating
intensely painful.

Motley who?

Crue: We're not quite dead yet. We're getting better! We feel happy!
Now that Motley Crue has announced their last tour ever, one has to ask, "who the fuck cares?" Is this supposed to be some kind of sad breaking news story, like a mass shooting?

I can't imagine how long it's been that someone even bothered to download their music illegally. Of course, if you grew up in the 80s listening to them and other hair bands, it'll make you sad that you are now old.

Just think, since grunge hit in the early 90s, record companies have wanted nothing to do with bands like MC. So for about 25 years Motley Crue has had absolutely no relevancy in pop culture. Big deal. Quit.

Also, anyone who appeared on the 2014 Grammys should admit defeat and retire. The American music industry is a massive 72 train train-wreck. So it actually makes you wonder, is there room just plain rock music anymore? It doesn't seem that way. Guitar, bass, drums and a singer has gotten just plain boring. It's all been done. Like beating a dead horse with a dead horse.

Having said all that, if you're looking for something a little different to listen to, take gander at one of my old posts. Music for manic depressives