I was born. I suffered.
I suffered some more, and hopefully,
I won't die a painful death.
This is my life.


Moving is generally a horrible experience. I have personally moved more times than I wish to recall. Rustling through forgotten boxes and papers is emotionally draining. My most gut-wrenching moves were ones that took me far away from my kids. Every card or drawing found, brings back a flood of memories. You really can’t hold back the tears. Every move I undertake, I seem to have less and less stuff. My aim is to get my moves down to just one car load. Maybe there’s just something intriguing about having absolutely nothing to show for your life.

For my last move, I’m hoping to have only the clothes that I’m buried in.

Marriage-Related Sex Initiation

Do you want to have sex before or after I mow the lawn?
If you don’t stop playing CoD by 10:30, we’re aren’t having sex.
It’s not Saturday.
It’s Saturday
If I don’t finish grading these 75 essays, you’re not getting sex this weekend.
Wife: Oh boy, it’s my birthday-no sex.
Husband: Oh boy, it’s my birthday-sex time!
Insert any holiday in 6 and 7. Wife: I want another kid. Husband: I can hold out.
Wife: Ok, I’m horny, let’s have sex. Husband: But Hitler is on.

If I Owned My Own Company

Of all the long dead of American dreams, is being your own boss. You remember that old and crusty dream, right? No middle managers berating and mentally abusing you in your cubicle, yes, it would be grand. I have put together some points from the one page The DeathBecomesMe Corp. employee handbook.

 Monotonous and meaningless meetings are forbidden, along with anything that could even be considered a meeting. Talking about the job at the water cooler? Verboten! If you want to drone on and on in front of people for an eternity, do it somewhere else bub.

Next on the chopping block-annual performance reviews. Most companies now use the painful and convoluted performance review to eliminate any chance of getting a raise. If applying for a job at DeathBecomesMe Corp., know that you may or may not get a yearly raise. If that's not good enough for you, sod off.

*Any instances of Microsoft SharePoint will be napalmed into fucking oblivion. If you love SharePoint, go waste your life away somewhere else.

So, there you have it. DeathBecomesMe Corp.: "We Won't Make You Want to Commit Suicide."

Ignoring Blogger.com Lately

Although, I really like the customization and theming of Blogger, I find that Medium is finely tuned for writing and is free of clutter. I mainly use Blogger to test out new CSS code. Not that anyone gives a shit.

The Moronic Farce that is the Republican Party

Repost from Medium

 Many of you may have watched the eleven train-train wreck of the GOP debate last night on CNN. I watched it until the end, and was nauseas. Never has it been so apparent that none of the candidates are mentally capable to hold any public office-let alone be President. The constant bickering, lying and name calling-not to mention the countless, “This President…,” and “Secretary Clinton did…,” bullshit, makes you want to move out of the country. Enough. We have Donald Trump’s plan to deport eleven million illegals. That’s fucking brilliant. He also wants to build his Trump-wall between the US and Mexico. But he’ll be, “Great at the military.” All of them want to expand the massive US military industrial complex. Not taking into account we already spend more than the next ten countries combined. These idiots should be wearing Nascar Tyvek jumpsuits plastered with the logos of defense contractors. 

 Admittedly, Rand Paul has some less hawkish ideas and agrees the various wars we’ve fought recently are all a mistake. But he does come out with crazy shit sometimes and can be discounted. Marvel at the absolutely ridiculous Mike Huckabee, who wants the US to return to Puritan days. He will of course reverse the marriage equality law and make abortions illegal when he’s President. 

 Gasp as Ted Cruz spouts right-wing Christian diarrhea out of his gaping maw. Of course, he will, wait for it, get rid of Obamacare! And yes, defund Planned Parenthood, which costs at least fifty-trillion dollars per year. Let’s see who’s next, oh yes, Ben Carson. Ben is the Seventh Day Adventist brain surgeon who believes that the earth is 6,000 years old. Need I say more? 

 And then there’s Scott Walker, the governor Wisconsin who said something along the lines of, “Did I give up when the people tried to recall me?” You’ve got to be shitting me. If everyone in the state you govern wants you dead, you’re definitely qualified to run the whole country. 

 So there you have the gist of a most horrific night of TV. What were some of your favorite stomach-turning moments?