I was born. I suffered.
I suffered some more, and hopefully,
I won't die a painful death.
I'm Eric and this is my life.

U2: Songs of Innocence. Sure it’s free, but you pay for it with bits of your crushed spirit

There’s nothing I like more than free music. So when U2 announced that it was giving away their new album during the iPhone 6 launch shin-dig, I was mildly excited. Mildly, because I haven’t considered U2 cool since the 90s. And now, I stand firm in this assertion. The songs are filled with an abundance of “oohs” and “aaahs” and also “weooohs”, “ah woah oh we ahs.” It’s horrific. I would so demand my money back, if I had paid for it. Songs will definitely be at home on any generic pop rock radio station.

Musically, there’s nothing interesting or to write home about. It really could be named: 11 Discarded Coldplay Songs

Parentheses are cool
 It’s not that I expected much. But from the band who made Achtung Baby, well, it just falls a tad short. Alas, that was long ago.

Maybe this Apple iTunes album is just the promo for the actual one coming out later in the year?

Oh, your gums are bleeding

Is there anything more depressing/makes you feel fucking old than going to the dentist? Dentists always seem to come up with more and more painful ways to increase the self-loathing. The latest thing is to use these plastic and metal lip prying devices so they can take digital pictures of all of your teeth. It looks like something out of a Marilyn Manson video. Then the hygienist prints them out and shows them to you in all of their excruciating detail. Yes, all the years of drinking coffee and eating popcorn kernels makes a rather hideous close-up.

I’m sure that some of you have experienced the dental pick that shoots a stream of salt water into every nook and cranny. That’s my new favorite. The shear amazement at which the hygienist responds at the site of blood gushing out of your gums is beyond compare. I’m pretty sure that if I jam a surgical-grade steel death pick into any number of soft tissues on my body, blood will come forth.
So there you have it. Go to your dentist and revel in the agony and mortality of it all.

RIP Robin Williams

If someone with millions of dollars and the adoration of millions of people can't find happiness, what's the hope for all rest of us poor dumb bastards?

Disdain Radio

I recently had the misfortune of listening to FM radio on a road trip. Ever since the invention of the mp3 player, radio has no place in my life. Believe it or not, horrific things like drive-time talk radio and classic rock stations are bloody abundant on these airwaves of death. Apparently every station can afford an excruciating fourth-rate Howard Stern-type morning radio show filled with sophomoric prank calls, jokes and sound effects — with a smattering of wretched overly played, program manager-approved songs.

The classic rock stations are the worst offenders of this most horrible format. Oh, please let us hear the same three Led Zeppelin tunes over and over. And now that most “hair metal” is now considered classic rock, all the top 40 head bangin’ 80s shit has made it into the fray. The same goes for the so called alternative rock stations. Hey, who is this new Pearl Jam band anyways?

I don’t know. Maybe I’m just jaded. Even satellite radio eventually runs into massive repetition and lack of variety. And like I’m going to pay to be even more annoyed driving in my car.